"How is the job hunting going?"

Spent Christmas with the family. Was fantastic to be with them and spend some time with them but I felt terrible every time they asked me about work. Mum & Dad are obviously worried that I am 'unemployed' and that I will be broke or thrown out of my flat so they keep asking about my job hunting. What am I supposed to say?

"Don't worry Mum, I am earning a fortune selling my body?" or
"No cash worries dad - on average get £200 a fuck, so all I need to do is fuck a couple of guys a day and I'm loaded"

Anyway, I did the only sensible thing and mumbled about tough job markets and promised to look harder in the new year.

So this leads me to a dilemma. I need to invent a new job for myself. One I can tell my normal life chums and family about. It needs to be flexible, well payed and involve working odd hours.

Any ideas???