Step by step guide to fucking a prostitute...

I have had a string of first time 'customers' over the past week or so. Not a problem, but most could have had a better time if they had understood the rules!

• Find some cash! You will need from £20 (straight sex in a Soho walk up) to £250 (3 hours with a top girl - like me - in her flat)
• Choose your girl. Punternet is a good start, or a local agency advertised in the classifieds. Soho walk ups (the 'models' advertised on the doors) are also good for a 'quick' punt. Avoimassagegparlor'srs (most likely place to find girls who are not happy with what they are doing for a living) and street walkers (most are just part timers but a few are junkies so worth avoiding). Walk away if the girl does not look or sound happy or there is any sign that she is being coerced.
• For in-calls (i.e. going to her place) turn up on time. Early means we may be busy or cleaning up and late means we may have to cut your time if there is a guy following.
• Knock on the door, or open it, with a smile on your face! Be happy, you are about to fuck a beautiful girl!

• Tell the girl what you want - she is there for you so don't be shy! She will have done most things so let your imagination go wild! I love it when guys want to do something different, it makes it feel special to me - not just a quick 'fuck and run'
• Get the money out of the way. Be specific about what you want, normally it is just time you are buying bust some charge for 'extras' like OWO (oral without a condom) or anal. If the girls says no to something she means it, don't try it on later or you will get thrown out! Hand over the cash (and a tip for the maid if asked - £2 is the going rate but a £5 will guarantee preferential treatment for future visits!)

  

• Get intimate! Cuddling is good, as is feeling the girl up. Kissing is ok but most girls will not want you to french kiss them - best not to try it! Enjoy the build up. Undress the girl slowly and let her strip you.

• Don't worry if you are not hard, this is common and not a problem. We girls know how to warm you up!

• Let the girl put the condom on you - she will have a stack of them!
• Sit back and enjoy the ride. If you hpaidayed for 'straight sex' that means one position. Other wise use your imagination!

• Let her know when you are going to cum. Some guys like to cum over our bodies. Dont go for the 'Porno facial' unless the girl is expecting it - cum in your eyes is painful!

• If you want more (and have time left) tell the girl and she will get you hard again! Otherwise get cleaned up and dressed.
• Chat to the girl as you are getting dressed. Some guys get dead shy at this point, don't - I don't mind the fact you have just fucked me - you paid me & this is business!

Am I legal? Alli goes all political!

As what can be best described as a 'sole trader' in the sex industry I think I have been legal for a while (at least according to a lawyer I fucked!*) but there have always been some grey areas. Anyway looks like the GB Govmnt are going to make it easier on us "office" based girls.

 

The issue they will have is with the street girls who are often junkies and therfore unlikely to be employed by a parlour or find a maid willing to work with them - thus the street is there only option. If the appoach is (as it seems to be) treat them as victims not criminals then I am all for it. Fining a street girl has always been a farce - the only way they can pay for it is to go back on the street.

 

Anyway - back to more mundane matters. Business is brisk & I am increasingly able to pick & choose the punters. Taking Sunday & Monday off to visit some friends (normal life). While I am away the working premisies are going to get a lick of paint & some furnature/mirrors.

 

* Didn't give him a discount for the advice - he is A LAWYER after all!

Bang - and there goes a week!

Contrary to some speculation that I had seemed to the lure of my new orgasm machine I can assure you deer reader that I have not deserted you. Just had one hell of a busy week with no time off till today.

Apart from one dodgy punter (too pissed to perform then decided to take it out on me) it has been a very pleasant week. Plenty of nice and easy work, mostly referrals in west end hotels, with lots night bookings of evenings out followed by a return to the punters room. One client didn't even want to fuck me, he was happy to play with my body and kiss me from head to toe - and then pay me for it!

Most excitement was a party on Friday. Two shifts (2-4 & 6-8) with me and two other girls entertaining around 15 guys. I enjoy these gigs. Not only are they lucrative but they are good fun -mostly a girl on girl show with a bit of fucking and sucking thrown in. I love putting on a show and this is a great opportunity to express my inner slut!

I should not be thinking like this!

Quiet day and I am fantasising. But why am I so turned on by this dream, I should not even want to think like this....

The door burst open and they tumbled in. They easily overpowered me pulling my silk gown off me, ripping my bra and panties away until I am naked. The larger one has me by the hair and pulls me towards the door. I struggle and the shorter guy with a shaven head slaps my face. "Quiet bitch!"

They are dragging me backwards out of my flat and down the stairs. I feel the cold rush of air as the door opens then I am on the street. We are still moving. He is trotting now, dragging me naked behind him. People stop to stare. Women shocked, men aroused. But no one offers help.

I feel the cold grit of the flagstones against my back. We are in Covent Garden, in front of St Paul's Church. The Buskers drift away as they throw me naked to the ground. The shorter guy is first. His fat cock is free of his trousers and approaching my face. I open my mouth and take him in, sucking his fat cock as a crowd of tourists and bemused shoppers look on. I feel my legs pulled open and a huge cock pushing against the opening of my pussy. I surprise myself, I am aroused. The wetness of my womanhood invites him in and he begins to fuck me with long hard strokes. His cock is huge, filling me up, pushing deep into my core. I sense excitement and whispered conversations around me as the crowd grows. I shut my eyes and focus on the cocks invading my mouth and cunt. I do not fight. I am resigned to their humiliation.

The guy fucking my pussy cums first, holding his weapon deep inside me as he pumps out his seed. Then my mouth fills the hot cum slipping effortlessly down my throat.

Then they are gone. I sense cum dripping from my pussy as I slowly open my eyes. Hundreds of people are gathered around to enjoy my degradation and humiliation.

I am aroused

I open my legs and hold my pussy open with my fingers.

I shut my eyes as the first tourist unzips his fly. His cock tastes hot and salty. There is another in my pussy and hands all over my body.

I am ready to be used.

Warm, fluffy, sexy, Sunday - and I discover the instant Orgasm

I spend the cold miserable Sunday the best way possible - in bed, and not alone! Met up with Nic & Terry, old friends who have been swinging for years. They have a lovely modern flat, are always kind and gentle and we had a great time together (thanks guys!).

Anyway, as we were playing around Nic pulled out her Rabbit Vibrator. Now I have seen these things around but never used one. Came close to buying one but the price tag (around £30) put me off.

So on it goes and in it goes. The head does some kind of wiggling thing inside and there are some revolving ball bearings that massage the entrance to your pussy. Sounds strange but v nice.

Then, with a smile on her face, Nic turns on the vibrating 'rabbit ears' that are pressed against my clit.

BANG!

Instant orgasm!

I could not believe it. It came from nowhere and left me reeling!

So after a few minutes to recover in it goes again.

BANG!

Another orgasm.

I have got to get me one of those - but they are almost too good! It's the sexual equivalent to Crack!

Where to start?

Note Added After I re-read this post! I am in a feisty mood today - watch out world....

 

What a weekend - Friday was busy but far from satisfying me it just made me want more. The 2 girl gig was great - one of those hot, hard, brutal, aggressive encounters that reinforce the view that the best sex comes from being selfish.

 

Woke up late Saturday to find it was snowing. Had an outcall in the afternoon so just slipped on some boots and my coat and hopped on the bus down to Mayfair. Punter very impressed with my entrance (sorry about the unintentional Julian Clary moment there!) and the fact I had been (as good as) naked on public transport. That lead to a very hot session with no need to fake the big O on my part.

 

Left his room with my pussy buzzing and, seeing it was now pissing down with rain I headed back into the bar.

 

[Note re London weather for all you overseas folks. There are four types of weather in London.

 

1. Fucking Lovely - warm summers days, cold crisp winters days, spring showers, autumn mists, etc. etc.

2. Fucking Miserable - Cold damp December days, Drizzly rain, general greyness.

3. Absolutely fucking miserable - misty rain that seems to go upwards, sleety cold rain (like yesterday)

4. No weather - just grey stuff that hovers, not really cloud, just greyness. If you are in london look out of your window now & you will know what I mean

 

Note to readers in the USA - IT IS NEVER FOGGY IN LONDON. Get over it! The foggy shit went in 1956 with the Clean air act ( http://www.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,12188,851002,00.html ). Occasional mist maybe, but it aint like Dickens any more!

 

So back to the hotel.....

 

Get chatting to the barman. He is a very athletic Aussie and we have an immediate rapport. Barmen are a very good source of business so I am always an outrageous flirt!

 

"Are you staying here?"

"No been working upstairs"

"Oh" he says as the penny drops, "Hows business"

"Good"

"You want to take your coat off?"

"You want me to flash these to everyone?" I open my coat to show my tits.

He laughs hard and offers me a free drink.

 

Twenty minutes later I am up against the wall of the linen room getting fucked hard for the second time that day.

 

Left him with my business card and headed off to the business premises.

 

One satisfied customers later I feel the need to dance and find myself amongst the writhing bodies at a club in the West End with David as my chaperon.

 

Wake up Sunday at Davids pad in New Cross. Weather category 3 (see above!) so grab a cab home...........

Please welcome ... Nurse Brown

I am going to be a Nurse - well for a couple of hours this afternoon anyway!

Just spent a chilly hour or so hunting down a Nurses uniform for a 'special request' this afternoon. Not sure i really get the Nurse fetish thing. I can understand Schoolgirl (which I do very well by all accounts)/School Mistress fantisies and have even been a secretary for one guy (although I was annoyed that he got cum on my nice Zara jacket!). Thing is I have not 'done' a nurse before and I'm not sure how to play it. Should I be all maitronly and slightly dominent? Should I stroke his forehaed and say 'there-there' Should I offer a bed bath? or should I just do a sexy strip?

Anyway, spent the morning checking out nurse looks on line before heading out to buy the goods (any accountants out there? I guess it could be tax deductable?!). Decided against the 'Latex Nurse' look and went for an outfit from Harmony that was vaguely authentic whilst having the requisite v. short mini skirt!

My lunchtime client was a dissapointment. He stank of garlic, had a bad attitude and pretty much blanked me the whole time I was with him. Not every guy wants a chat and small talk, often they just want to get on with it and are a bit sheepish and want to leave soon after their balls are emptied. No problem with that at all. What I hate is being ignored. There I am, all smiles, moans and gasps as I ride him and he looks up at me like I was a piece of shit on his knob. I was proffesional to the last, even faking an orgasm for him, but if a guy is going to fuck me I would at least like some recognition that I am human! Luckily he only wanted 30mins so I was soon shot of him and enjoying a long warm shower and a lovely fingery orgasm to get me over it.

My 'patient' is due at 3 so I have a bit of time to relax with a cup of tea, plug myself into the MP3 player and read a bit of my book (The Queen of the South by Arturo Preez-Reverte. Highly Reccomend it) before I have to get the nylons on!

Uggh My Head!!

Great time last night but, ouch, my head feels like someone has whacked me with a mallet! Taken two asprin, downed a can of Coke and taken a long shower but still no better...

So what's the gossip from the old workplace?? Not much really. Anne-Claire popped in for a brief drink but didn't stay long (sob-sob). Ex boss man spent most of the evening trying to chat me up so unsubtly that Sharon felt she had to rescue me (and scold him!). At one point we were sittng together on a bench seat and he started to slide his hand up my skirt! Let him get all the way up until his pinke just touched my pussy (so he would realise I was panty-less) beofre pushing him away - tee hee!! He is a nice guy and I would probably have slept with him if he had been more subtle!

At least it seems they are missing me, aparently a couple of the clients have asked after me and suggested they should not have 'let me go'. One has even suggested that he would employ me next time he has a vacancy - all good for the old ego.

Things have picked up on the work front. Now it has stopped raining London seems to have woken up! The diary is filling up a bit so looks like I will not need the Janurary sale after all! Two bookings for today (Lunchtime and early evening) and several for later in the week, including an overnight at "a top London Hotel" (as they say!) and a 'two girl' booking for Friday afternoon. Car-ching!

I love the two girl stuff, particularly if I fancy the other girl and we have been together before. My favorite partner is a small oriental girl called Suzie (well Tracy actually, but she trades as Suzie as it sound more exotic!). We put on a great show together and love working together. She has loads of energy and we fuck each other silly while the guy's look on. She has little hands and her party trick is fisting me and herself at the same time, often while sucking off the client!

Not sure yet who I am working with on Friday, the guy has requested a black girl but the agency are struggling to find someone.

Better go get dressed and get myself down to the business premises - the heating has gone off and I have goose bumps!

He finally shows....

My Midday appointment finally showed up at 1.30! Good job I am not busy. A pretty typical punt - £150 for cuddle, fondle, blowjob and sex. He was a nice guy - I hope I see him again.

Just indulged in a couple of hours retail therapy but the miserable weather has driven me inside(I'ts that thick drizzle that even manages to get up your skirt!). Feeling the need for some company so I have done a a phone around and organised a last minute get together of a couple of my ex colleagues. I have seen them a few times since I was 'downsized'. Its fun to hear the gossip about the office and the shitty clients. Would love to share my day with them, but guess I better make something up!

Long bath to warm me up then a cab down to the Blue Posts.... bye for now!

It's oh so quiet....

(with apologies to Bjork!)

As well as Christmas I took New Year off (despite the offer of 'escorting' a guy to a very flash restaurant's party), but now I am beginning to regret it! Things are very quiet!

I guess that after the excesses of Christmas and New Year guys must be off sex too! I have nothing in the diary until Saturday (a party with another couple of girls). Even my promised 12 o'clock has not shown.

May have to drop the rates to draw in the punters!! How about a new year sale..

"Half price head!"
"Buy a bj and I will swallow for free"
"Fuck me and get a second fuck free (if you're up to it)"
"2hours sex for the price of one"
"Fuck me and I will pay for the drinks!"

Look out for the ad's on Oxford Street.

(Maybe I should employ one of those poor guys who have to stand there holding signs - "Sex Sale" A picture of me and a big arrow pointing to the phone number should do it. Either that or I should hold the sign and just have "Fancy a fuck?" and a big arrow pointing straight down to me!!)

"How is the job hunting going?"

Spent Christmas with the family. Was fantastic to be with them and spend some time with them but I felt terrible every time they asked me about work. Mum & Dad are obviously worried that I am 'unemployed' and that I will be broke or thrown out of my flat so they keep asking about my job hunting. What am I supposed to say?

"Don't worry Mum, I am earning a fortune selling my body?" or
"No cash worries dad - on average get £200 a fuck, so all I need to do is fuck a couple of guys a day and I'm loaded"

Anyway, I did the only sensible thing and mumbled about tough job markets and promised to look harder in the new year.

So this leads me to a dilemma. I need to invent a new job for myself. One I can tell my normal life chums and family about. It needs to be flexible, well payed and involve working odd hours.

Any ideas???

New Year resolution

Normaly I make a habbit of not making new year resolutions. I only go and break them within days and get pissed off with myself. But this one I promise to stick to! And you, my valued readers and freinds, can keep me to it....

The resolution -

To keep this blog going!!

I have been very lazy with it of late. I can make excuses about getting used to my change in career, my punishing work schedule, etc, etc. But I realised over Christmas (squarely back in 'Normal life' with Mum & Dad at home) that I missed your comments and emails.

So here goes - New Year & New Commitment to blogging...